Wednesday, October 24, 2007
A minha elegia
I wish i could smoke this night
inhale it as the pain of being awaken for long
doesn't drive me mad.
I wish i could swim,
let the water flood my body
and carry me back and forth
without a reason why..
i wish i could travel,
let my soul fulfill itself
as just another mathematical projection
frozen in time,
a builder of dreams..
I dreamnt of an old man
gathering a burnt newspaper from the ground,
a throwned out treasure,
pieces of god glued by inocense,
and i did smile at him
before he was taken away,
for he had not known me,
just a shared consciousness
of how life is an empty concept
He waved goodbye,
and we parted ways,
accompanied by a mid afternoon october rain,
and i saw that old man's life passing through me,
as softly as blades had pierced my skin before,
and i walked,
getting away from that old man,
not looking back,
there is nothing worse in life,
than feeling beauty and watching it show its true silhouete..
I got home,
and lit my last cigarrete,
perhaps that consciousness had not hit me yet,
but there i stood
just like in another day,
with work on my desk,
some books i did plan to read,
and music coming from the neighbours appartment.
I thought about some people i had met..
how things could have been different
had i been different.
But we do not choose who we are,
we can embezel ourselves or make ourselves scarse,
but in the end
what we are is eternally with us..
I look back a couple of years,
not with regret nor with sorrow,
to the things i'd done,
the few people that touched me,
those that tried to give me hope,
despicable word really,
i do remember them fondly,
like the last birthday of your childhood,
far away,fading...
a fence in the garden you'll lay in.
Some of my old writings tend to leave me a bit sad,
of tenacity and strenght that has long since abandoned,
i leave them here as paintings,
paving the floor,
covering this abyss..
I'm going to close my eyes now...
Horror
Sinto-me bombardeado,
inconstante e fraco,
tenho horror à minha consciência,
à promiscuidade da minha alma,
ao sonho do meu passado.
Acordo e grito,
tenho medo ao sair,
de me libertar do que me destroi,
fechem as janelas,
prendam-me aos mãos,
não me deixem só,
o meu corpo,
dominio e escravo,
tenho horror à minha humanidade,
de me construir,
a cada dia que passa,
de abraçar a estupidez
como esperança..
Sinto-me deserto,
impotente perante
a lineriarização do meu destino,
e não sei como fugir..
inconstante e fraco,
tenho horror à minha consciência,
à promiscuidade da minha alma,
ao sonho do meu passado.
Acordo e grito,
tenho medo ao sair,
de me libertar do que me destroi,
fechem as janelas,
prendam-me aos mãos,
não me deixem só,
o meu corpo,
dominio e escravo,
tenho horror à minha humanidade,
de me construir,
a cada dia que passa,
de abraçar a estupidez
como esperança..
Sinto-me deserto,
impotente perante
a lineriarização do meu destino,
e não sei como fugir..
Alone
Alone
going down this ephemerous path
my eyes fly away
as they pass through
let them be..
face the ground
and wait for your consciousness
to find hope once again..
I've reached my destiny
and soon i begin to lie..
as the days without light
veil my soul..
Let them be..
Now here i stand
with only my sorrow to feed
my emptiness..
Empty words
cannot make a soul thrive
upon their ignorance
i stand alone
My dreams do care me away
through life and pain
mournfully dehidrated
staring at the cold still waters
as they leave
into continuous dissolutiom.
Your ignorant pittyful eyes
watch me drown
awaken to myself..
to live..to fight..to find love...
let them be..
and meet thy angels..
meet their Christian despair
as i live without hope..
without you...
My tribute to Shape of Despair..and a glimpse at whom i really am..
going down this ephemerous path
my eyes fly away
as they pass through
let them be..
face the ground
and wait for your consciousness
to find hope once again..
I've reached my destiny
and soon i begin to lie..
as the days without light
veil my soul..
Let them be..
Now here i stand
with only my sorrow to feed
my emptiness..
Empty words
cannot make a soul thrive
upon their ignorance
i stand alone
My dreams do care me away
through life and pain
mournfully dehidrated
staring at the cold still waters
as they leave
into continuous dissolutiom.
Your ignorant pittyful eyes
watch me drown
awaken to myself..
to live..to fight..to find love...
let them be..
and meet thy angels..
meet their Christian despair
as i live without hope..
without you...
My tribute to Shape of Despair..and a glimpse at whom i really am..
An Elegy to a Succumbed Friend
I feel the silence
going through your mind,
i see you lying
on green pastures,
your peaceful eyes
as the wind caresses your redful eyes
you are one at last,
i can see you dreaming
being pulled to life,
i can feel the beat your heart,
as you open your eyes
to the ceiling..
your dreams dissipating
causing me to shiver alone,
anguished to despair..
I saw your presence,
on this empty shell,
it feels like a lifetime has swallowned me whole,
passing through your house,
in the dissolution of tears,
at light speed yet so slow,
i see my own death,
scraping pieces of my flesh..
There were dreams,
there were spontaneous hopes,
but i should have known better,
pain is everything we can ever feel..
i *bow* before you my friend
going through your mind,
i see you lying
on green pastures,
your peaceful eyes
as the wind caresses your redful eyes
you are one at last,
i can see you dreaming
being pulled to life,
i can feel the beat your heart,
as you open your eyes
to the ceiling..
your dreams dissipating
causing me to shiver alone,
anguished to despair..
I saw your presence,
on this empty shell,
it feels like a lifetime has swallowned me whole,
passing through your house,
in the dissolution of tears,
at light speed yet so slow,
i see my own death,
scraping pieces of my flesh..
There were dreams,
there were spontaneous hopes,
but i should have known better,
pain is everything we can ever feel..
i *bow* before you my friend
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